Martyr Sea? More Like Chicken of the Sea

There have been reports lately that radical muslims want to rename the Arabian Sea to Martyr Sea. The Arabian Sea is, of course, where Osama Bin Laden’s body was chucked overboard, er, buried in the ocean, by sailors of the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson.

Jay Leno addressed this issue on the Tonight Show: “Supporters of Osama bin Laden say they want to rename the Arabian Sea where bin Laden’s body was dumped, the Martyr’s Sea. Please hiding in your bedroom How about calling it chicken of the sea?”

According to the Daily Mail, Abdal Hakim Murad, a Muslim Chaplain at Cambridge University says

‘Given Muslim ideas of holiness diffusing over large areas it is possible that a pilgrimage will develop as radicals stand on beaches contemplating the virtues of their dead hero,’ he added.

Really? Well why not just change the name of the whole Middle East to “Martyrstan” then? That way, they won’t have to travel.

Thankfully, we didn’t bury him in Barstow, Alaska. That would have made the pilgrimage interesting.

There are some people who think this attempt to rename the Arabian Sea means  President Obama made the wrong call, versus, say, chopping up the body in to small pieces and jettisoning it in space. To them, I say my uncle died in Washington state, and I am calling for the whole state to be renamed Johnlandia. A lot of people agree with me, including my mother, the guy asking for food money at the supermarket, and my dog, Allah Akbar.

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